Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Scariest Thing I've Ever Seen

Today, while doing my obligatory daily internet browsing, I came across this little gem -- a robot dressed as a bride, walking the runway at the Yumi Katsura show straight from Japan's Uncanny Valley.



There are so many terrifying, freaky things about this video. Let us count the ways:
  • It's a robot.
  • In a wedding dress.
  • Her mouth is slightly agape, in an oh-so-creepy suggestive manner. Not to mention the disturbing correlation created by the wedding dress.
  • "Billie Jean" is playing at the show -- I'm guessing they were doing some sort of tribute to Micheal Jackson, and shooting for the double entendre of "See, she's 'not my girl'? Cause SHE'S A FUCKING ROBOT!!!" But in conjunction with this footage, all I can think of is Thriller's horror movie video, and that makes me think that this robot is out to get me.
  • The moment at roughly 40 seconds, when the robot stops, the lights go out, and she glows in the dark. Now I am absolutely positive she is going to start shooting lasers out of her eyes at any moment, as retribution for whomever put her in that ridiculous dress. (I'd start designing a laser-proof gown if I were you, Ms. Katsura.)
  • That ridiculous, old fashioned dress combined with that humanoid robot has a very serious steampunk-come-to-life vibe, which is surprisingly not as cool as I'd thought it'd be in real life.
  • The Stepford Wife shuffle.
  • That bitch can blink, but the rest of her face is relatively frozen.
Sorry I haven't been around in, oh, a month or so. I'll try to better tend to my bloggerly duties from now on.